Someone shit on the floor
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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