we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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