I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
