farters have to be the big spoon...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
