He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
