your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
