We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
