so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
