I bet he comes in French.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize