the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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