I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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