Sry I called you an 8
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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