I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
