I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You were trust falling into bushes
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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