Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
