Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
