I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
