I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
