This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
