i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
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Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
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Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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