I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
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did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
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I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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