WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
