This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
