I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
And then he peed in my hair
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