would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
