I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
