I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
