do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
