Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
