Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
