so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
