He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
