I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
