im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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