New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
