went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
there's paper in my vomit.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize