Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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