Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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