Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
