Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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