Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
