I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
