HIV tests are more positive than that guy
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
