I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
