Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
we're so committed to being not committed
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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