69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Panties = found
Randomize
