Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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