i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
