I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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