You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
