Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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