She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
