Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
