I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
