You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
