You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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