well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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