idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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