i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.