im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.