Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.