so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
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The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
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we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.