Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
