Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
