I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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