how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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