You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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