i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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