She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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