is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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