they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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